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The Audition

As I mentioned in my previous post, I had an audition last week but wasn’t ready to talk about it until I knew either way if I was getting the gig. I found out last evening I did not get it.

Frankly, I’m not surprised. I’m a little disappointed, but not surprised. I kind of knew what they’d say when I saw it was them calling.

I know, you guys still have no idea what I’m talking about. My friend Marie from The Snake Charmers told me about this job a couple of weeks ago. The International House of Blues Foundation (IHOBF) has a program called the Blues SchoolHouse Program. It is a musical presentation/educational program for 5th-12th grade students and teachers. Programs generally take place on select weekday mornings during the school year at the House of Blues-Houston venue.

The International House of Blues Foundation is a 501 (c) (3) non-profit organization dedicated to bringing the arts to schools and communities through programs that promote cultural understanding and encourage creative expression. The IHOBF is supported by the House of Blues, House of Blues Foundation Room members, Live Nation, and other public and private donors.

Blues SchoolHouse: The IHOBF Blues SchoolHouse Program explores aspects of American history and culture through blues music, blues-inspired music and traditions of related folk art. Utilizing the House of Blues venue as a multimedia classroom, the program engages students and teachers (grades 5 -12) with interactive, arts-related learning experiences. Through the Blues SchoolHouse, participants gain a greater understanding of how the arts can reflect life experiences and social conditions. The program fosters appreciation for diverse contributions to American culture and highlights the role that the arts can play in social transformation.

The Blues SchoolHouse includes a live musical presentation tracing the history of blues music from its roots in African musical traditions through its emergence and evolution as a unique American musical form. The presentation also explores the influence of the blues on other forms of popular contemporary music including jazz, R&B, rock and roll, soul, funk, and rap. The performance demonstrates how the blues musical form was influenced by and reflects important events in American history including the Atlantic Slave Trade, the institution of slavery, emancipation, Jim Crow laws, the Great Migration and the Civil Rights Movement.

In other words, it has an association with the House of Blues, but it is not the House of Blues and is a separate organization from it.

I was auditioning to be the keyboard player in the Blues SchoolHouse Band. If you go to the IHOBF web site, there is a video about the whole organization. For a more specific example of the Blues SchoolHouse Program, here is a video of the Dallas group on WFAA performing a song with an introduction of what the song is about and where it came from. This is only part of the presentation that they normally do.

The woman who was talking with the anchor, Nazanin, is the Program Manager for Dallas and will also be running the Houston program. She was my contact through the whole process.

I saw this as an exciting opportunity. As a full time musician, the days are looking to be occupied. I love working for myself, but playing out at nights can be a mixed bag. This would give me the opportunity to play the blues and other styles of music I like, share it with kids, and do it during the day. Also, doing about twenty performances during the school year would be a nice bit of income.

I was pretty wound up about the audition leading up to it. I had to present three songs, St Louis Blues (Bessie Smith), Respect (Aretha Franklin), and one of my own choosing to demonstrate my abilities. I was told I would be accompanying a vocalist for the first two pieces. I worked on all three for the week, finding interesting parts and licks to play because I did not want to simply comp behind the vocalist, but wanted to show what I could contribute to the song. Of course, I wasn’t going to play over the vocalist either. You don’t get the gig if you don’t pay attention and don’t work with the other performers.

On the Monday before the audition, I thought it might be a good sign that they called me and asked if I was willing to back two different singer’s auditions. Of course I said yes. This showed my flexibility, and would also give me a chance to play everything twice in case I screwed up the first time! Unfortunately the day before the audition they called again and the first singer had backed out, so I was back to playing once.

After the singer arrived at the audition, she told me she needed to do Respect in another key. Even though it’s basically only three chords, I wasn’t prepared to transpose the licks I had gotten down into the other key. There’s a lesson to be learned there, to always be ready to transpose when it comes to playing with a new singer. There’s a corollary, and that’s to know how to use the transpose feature on any keyboard you might play. I’m not really an advocate of doing that, but if I knew how to do that on the keyboard they provided, things would have gone that much easier.

At the end of the audition, I didn’t have any clear thoughts about it either way until the very end and I got that “thanks for coming” vibe, you know when you go out on a first or blind date with someone and it ends with them saying, “it was nice to meet you”? It felt like that. I don’t mean to say they were blowing me off, just that final, “nice to meet you, thanks for coming” and the vibe that comes with it. But, even though they’ve turned me down, that may not have been the case at all. They may have simply needed to move on to the next audition.

After they told me last night that they passed on me, I sent an email that asked, “could you let me know why I wasn’t chosen for the position? Your honest, objective feedback would help me with future auditions and I would greatly appreciate it.” They replied, “We simply had A LOT of very qualified applicants and it was a tough choice. It wasn’t something that you didn’t do.” In that respect, that is good. It means it was simply a matter of picking one person and I wasn’t it. Sometimes picking one person for a job is a tough choice.

There’s probably more, but that covers it for now. Like my last post discussed, I have some other balls in the air, so we shall see how each goes. Hopefully some will come through and I will enjoy all that do. Tonight I am meeting the blues band.

Thu, 2009 10 01 at 8:46 AM |Permalink for this entry

Kick in the Pants

A few things have come up since I last posted. In no particular order, a sax player contacted me about starting a jazz duo though he hopes to add drums and bass at some point. This is an interesting proposition. I really want killer jazz chops, though I feel like I'm really far away from that right now.

I found out about a job that I had an audition for last Thursday. I don't want to talk much about it yet because I'm still waiting to find out if I got the gig. What I do want to talk about is the kick in the pants this was. I had to have three songs ready, and I ended up getting nervous as hell about it. I really don't know why. I had theories, but no definite answers. I think it had to do with being so long since really playing in front of anyone, not having the band nor CH to play with recently, etc. I felt as nervous as I did before the first gig with CH. It was an awful feeling, a tightness in my gut that drove me crazy. Unlike the time before the first CH gig, I only had a week between finding out about the audition and the audition (on the other hand, CH was a month of being nervous).

Of course, once I completed the audition, I felt much better. In fact, while I was playing, I was so focused on what I was doing the nerves I had immediately before were completely gone.

Two days later, I sat in with my friends The Snake Charmers. That turned out to be an absolute blast, and I got a lot of good feedback from my performance, including from the manager of another performer who might be looking to put together a band.

Between those two events, I feel fine again. It's pretty nice, actually. While I might get nervous for some types of auditions or anything really particular that wants parts played exactly, for most things I feel fine. Last night was the first CH rehearsal for a show we're doing on November 14 at 2 PM at The Jet Lounge (mark your calendars!) and even though Ant and I were the only people there from the previous incarnation of the band, I felt completely fine. I didn't even know the particular songs we rehearsed and it didn't really bother me.

A friend forwarded me a Craigslist ad for a blues band that's looking for a keyboard player. I got in touch with them yesterday and am talking with them about checking them out as well.

In reality, I only have CH going on for sure, but I could have several others.

Collective Hallucination - 100%
Jazz duo - 80%
Audition - unknown, completely in their hands
Blues band - probably could have it if I want it, we will see once we meet
The other performer's band - depends if they make a band
A gig I'd really like, I think - I don't know, I have to get my butt out there and sit in with them before I have any idea

To be honest, that's too damned much. If they all came through at once, I'd have to pare it down, at least for now until I learned how to manage doing multiple bands. I also realize how these things work. While it may seem like all these things are coming at once, most of these people have other things going on and may not get to me or be a while. Holding my breath is not a good idea! I think I mentioned in a previous post a band that had expressed interest in having me play on their recordings or something like that. Their release party is coming up and they never asked. I don't know why, but that happens. Whatever they are happy with musically is what I want them or any artist to do. It's all good.

With any luck, all these things will come through but they'll be staggered in such a way that they will be manageable.

Wed, 2009 09 30 at 6:42 AM |Permalink for this entry

Passion

Passion, turn to the left, Passion, right!

I've had passion for many things in my life. I documented some of these things as "dream jobs" in my first post. Over time however, I lost the passion for many of these things for different reasons.

When I was in college and got my first job, I studied and became a mechanical engineer focused on automotive engineering. I loved it. In modern times, cars have computers, so it tapped into my interest in that, as well as the hands-on mechanical aspect that I enjoyed. I like to tinker. But over time, I couldn't deal with the work situations under which I could do this. I still loved automotive engineering, in fact I still do. But good luck finding a job where the baloney, headaches, and politics are minimized to a reasonable extent so people can get on with their work. I understand that there will always be those issues to an extent, that's why I said "minimized" and not "eliminated."

Here's an example of this. When I was trying to move to Texas to be with Lori back in 1992, I had an interview with one company that was starting to develop natural gas vehicles. This was right up my alley as I had done projects with alternative fuel vehicles when I was in college, and of course there was the experience that I had developed over a couple of years being at GM. I felt like this job would be a really good match and felt pretty good about the interview since they had flown me down for it, paying for the travel and expenses. When I interviewed with the head of engineering, one question that he asked me towards the end was had I ever rebuilt an engine. The answer to that was no, I had not. He went on to tell me how everyone that was working in this small company was able to cover multiple areas and that they were looking for engineers who could do that, and thus I wasn't going to fit. Now, I should have said that while I hadn't rebuilt an engine, I was handy and capable of doing other mechanical work, and I'm sure I could rebuild an engine. I accept fault for that part. But he blew me off because I had never rebuilt an engine. He didn't ask me anything else about my mechanical skills or experience nor my willingness to try. He had one question in mind and if the answer was no, his mind was clearly made up. Why he didn't ask me this before they brought me down I will never know. But I later realized that it was a good thing that this happened. His closed mindedness would have been an issue later.

Another passion I had was doing my neighborhood newsletter. I had done newsletters before, but I really enjoyed this one. It was the first one I was able to do WYSIWYG on a computer (yeah, a theme, I know), and I was totally in charge. Don't get me wrong, there were problems, like the software crashing constantly and corrupting the file. I had to develop a routine of saving with multiple filenames so I always had something to go back to without losing too much work. There were the contributors submitting past the deadline or emailing me well after the deadline and asking for an extension. You can ask Lori, there was a lot of swearing coming from the room with the computer. But, almost every month, I was happy with what I was able to do.

What brought that to a screeching halt was what I call a draining of volunteer equity. Every person has an amount they are willing to do, and an amount of crap they're willing to put up with. This is true in more than volunteerism. I think I could have dealt with the monthly issues for a long time. But other issues such as hassles I got about the budget for the newsletter (which I had little or no control over) and some people threatening lawsuits because of opinion letters that got published finally burned me out. In fact, I was recently asked to reprise my role as editor of the newsletter for one month, and I really enjoyed it. That is, I did until one letter that was published that month caused a big stink, reminding me why I quit in the first place.

The challenge I am having now is to not let anything get in the way of my passion for the music. Music has been a lifelong thing for me, so I'm surprised I have been letting anything get in the way at all. But due to a conversation with a good friend, I realized I have been. I should be diving into everything musical with both feet, but I'm not. I'm letting myself get distracted from practicing as well as while I'm practicing. I'm not making an effort to get out and play blues jams. I'm being hesitant when people approach me about playing with them, and hoping I'm covering my reluctance.

This time, I'm not losing the passion due to anger, burnout, stupidity, disappointment about jobs, nor anything situational like that. I think it's the fear. The same fear I discussed in posts in August. It's a much subtler challenge to confront than the ones above, because it's all in me. It's blurring my own perceptions of what I'm doing or not doing and why. This is making it a hard thing to overcome. I'm not even feeling it's there 100% of the time. I do feel it sometimes, when someone asks me about playing with them, but I don't feel it when I don't practice as much as I should or I don't work on a project like a demo for a song I've written. But what else would explain my lack of interest in something I normally enjoy so much? To be honest, I'm not sure how to overcome it, except to find opportunities to play, build my confidence, and keep it rolling.

[written a little later]

Or maybe…

There could be another factor in play here. As I described earlier, I'm an engineer and a tinkerer. I like to get things done. One of my favorite feelings is that of doing something and being done with it, such as installing a new ceiling fan, replacing the kitchen faucet, writing a software program, replacing the cooling fan in the car, etc. Music is more nebulous. I can write a song today, but while the core of it may be complete, it's always changing, growing, responding to the performers playing it and where it's being played. That part of making music, songwriting, feels really good, and I enjoy the heck out of it. But as far as being a performer, there is always more to learn. There isn't a musician on this earth that cannot improve their playing in some way. Doing things like practicing doesn't really achieve much in the way of definite goals. It's an ongoing thing, a continual process with no end. Worse yet, it can be hard to see the progress. I got a little better at that today, and each day I get a little better, but it's only when you look back that you see specific achievements. Maybe this is why we focus on learning specific songs, so we can feel like we've accomplished something each time we complete one of those landmarks. When I practice on my own while I'm not taking lessons, I tend to not focus on songs when I don't have a band or performance to learn them for. Maybe I should change this.
___

Speaking of opportunities and working on specific songs, Ant is now reviving Collective Hallucination, and wants me in it. I'm looking forward to that. It will be interesting, because it seems like he and I will be the only ones left from when I played with him before. Even his long time partner and bass player B-Funk has moved on, so Ant is currently looking for a new bass player. I'm trying to think if I know any…

Playing with CH again will be good for me. It seems to give me that "if I can do this, I can do anything" confidence. At least, that's what happened before so hopefully it will again. Maybe the reason it did so is that I felt like I accomplished something each time I played with them. I learned those songs and was able to perform them.

I was contacted by a party/variety/cover band, but I turned them down for a number of reasons. They wanted a permanent member, and I'm not looking to make that commitment just yet. They play gigs once or twice a week on Fridays and Saturdays, and that would probably prevent me from playing with anyone else those nights. They do mostly or maybe all covers, which is fine but not exactly my thing. The band leader seemed cool about that, he said he's much more into a little experimentation and improv than getting the songs note-for-note, so that aspect could work. I didn't ask him, but I think he's looking for a keyboard player that's a bit more diverse than I am. I limit myself to keyboard sounds such as piano, organ, and electric pianos primarily, and I think he'd want and need other sounds like horns or strings depending on the song.

After talking with him, I hated to turn him down because he seemed like a good guy. He understood something we learned in Blue Funk a couple of years ago, that personality is as important, if not more important, than chops. He was okay with not getting songs note-for-note as I mentioned. He does music full time, and getting in with people who do music full time is something I think I need to find more of. That's nothing against those who do it part time for various reasons. Lastly, the pay for the gigs sounded really good. But the time commitment would probably prevent me from doing much else. I would hate and feel it was wrong to take the gig and decide it was not for me a few months or even a year or so down the road or leave because another opportunity came up that's more in line with what I want to do.

On the other hand, my friends in a local blues band asked me if I wanted to sit in at one of their gigs in a few weeks. Of course I said yes. I'm really looking forward to this, and I'll post more information about it when that date gets closer and more details are confirmed.

P.S. I know I changed the words to that song a bit. Sue me.

Thu, 2009 09 10 at 2:26 AM |Permalink for this entry

Fun

I'm not terribly happy with that last post.

The responses I've received were more in line with what I expected from the earlier draft that I wrote the night after the sit in, which was a bit more down on things. Imagine the response I would have gotten if I had posted that instead!

I had tried to end the post on a somewhat positive note, thinking about what I could or should do to get back into things, so the responses have been a little bit of a surprise.

More than anything, his whole thing is supposed to be fun. These last two times I've sat in with this band were not fun. It's obvious why the first one wasn't, though the second one could have been me. I've recently truly learned the meaning when people say, "90% is your attitude." It may even be more than that. I really believe that we live in the world we create as individuals. It's very possible that things could be or are fine with these guys for the most part, but you get what you expect, and since I feel like there's a vibe that they don't think that I'm even a capable player, I'm fighting with myself to overcome that and just play and have fun. It's an issue of baggage. Just like when you have a relationship with someone, it's too easy to fall into old bad habits and expectations built up over time. Have you ever seen a broken-up couple launch into each other because of a completely innocent comment by one that the other took the wrong way because of the old expectations they still had?

What happened with this band is a little disappointing, because this was a convenient situation to sit in, and frankly, I was hoping this might lead to more opportunities to play with them as well as others. Not everything works out as you hope. You do your best, and if it doesn't happen, you move along.

I realized this morning that I was basing my feelings on very little, playing with one band that didn't go well musically. Meanwhile, I've had other positive musical experiences. Why do people base things on the latest event? (I feel like this band even did that. I sat in two times that seemed fine. Then one time goes badly, and suddenly I can't play. Okay, maybe the band did that and so did I! Hmmm.)

As one reply I received to the last post reminded me, sometimes, playing with others just doesn't gel. All you can do is move on and play with someone else. That's what I'm looking to do now. I'm hoping that the other opportunities, particularly the other bandleader that asked me to sit in, work out a bit better. Stylistically and perhaps opportunity-wise, that one is somewhat similar to the one that didn't go well. However, for various reasons, I think I might "gel" better with this bandleader. Even if that's only my own perception, it's my universe so it should work for me….

Meanwhile, I am enjoying practicing at home. I'm not a patient person (I try), but I've made some progress lately. I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be, but what musician is? The quest never ends, and you have to enjoy the ride, because there is no final destination.

I've also let the songwriting and working on the demos slip again. I need to work on that. I made some good progress on Kathy's song, but I still need to do a bit more on it.

Who said anything about stopping? Why stop in the pursuit of fun?

Wed, 2009 08 12 at 5:00 PM |Permalink for this entry

An Update

So much for that idea

I went back and sat in with "that" band again last night. It didn't go as well as I hoped. When I went up there, the band leader asked me what I wanted to play or if I had worked on anything, I blurted "a blues in G." I really meant to say any key would be fine, but because I had success in G at a previous sit-in, I guess that was on my mind.

I know the reason he asked was because of what happened previously. When he talked to me that time during the break, he said something about having something to play, a specific song. So that's what he was getting at.

He threw me several solos during that first tune. For the second song, he asked the bass player if he had something. The bass player turned to me and asked if I was comfortable in C. Once again, I'm sure they asked because of the previous time. (That has to be the silliest question to ask a keyboard player. The key of C is the key on keyboards. It is all the white notes and the key in which every keyboard player starts learning. While some may say they are more comfortable in other keys, anyone who can't handle C at a blues jam is just weird.)

In both songs, I felt myself stumbling at certain points sometimes during my solos, not being as fluid as I would have liked. I still need to listen to the recording to hear how it actually sounded. I also got lost a couple times in the changes in both songs. I'm not sure why. I walked away feeling a bit rusty, probably from not having played with anyone for so long.

After the second song, the band leader called the regular keyboard player back up. Usually I've gotten three songs, but the first one was on the long side. I'm not sure if that was why or if he wasn't entirely happy with how I was playing. I may never know.

After we got home and I wrote the first draft of this entry, I went into my studio and played some stuff on my piano, including a blues bass line that's been in my head for at least a few weeks. I played a few things that I've been working on at least pretty competently. This made me realize that I can at least do that. So what's up?

For a while, things were going great. It was exciting, and I felt like I could do a lot. I'm not saying I'm all that as a player, just that it was working and I felt like I could pull off just about anything. The high from that was really great. Now, I feel much more like I used to before all this, like maybe I can play some things, but playing with others has lost a bit of its magic. I wish I had people to jam with that I knew were at least okay with my playing, so I could build back my confidence. Maybe I need to get one or two other people over here to jam with Lori and I and really let loose, shake off the cobwebs, and feel like I can play with people again.

Tue, 2009 08 11 at 4:57 PM |Permalink for this entry

What’s Next

I've discussed this before, but I need to revisit this subject for my own benefit.

What's Next? asked the man.

For a bit of background, I should point out that I am or aspire to be both a songwriter and a performing musician. The two roles cross over and are intertwined, yet there are aspects of them that are separate. For instance, I can spend large parts of my days writing songs and working up demos of them. This involves little or no interaction with other musicians except any time I may decide to use one for a demo, such as having a singer sing on one. But this is about how much I want to gig, or play out.

If you've read my last post, I talked about the need to get out there and play. Thinking about that, the next question is, "how much?" The reason for asking this now is because it can be very easy to go too far, or try too hard to fill my time with gigs and possibly be disappointed. What I am discussing here is purely theoretical at this point.

I have a friend who is a professional keyboard player and he plays with a number of different bands. Since it is his living, he gigs nearly constantly, though he tells me it's not enough and he could do more. Sometimes, I think about how cool that would be, to hit the road for a couple or few weeks at a time, gig nearly every night, and just play with great musicians. (In fact, he plays with bands that are the same style as I love, so that makes the idea even more intriguing.)

On the other hand, I have a really great life right now. While I enjoy going places, I don't enjoy traveling very much (I'd much rather be there than get there, in other words). After a while, I often find myself missing the comforts of home, all my stuff, etc.

I also don't want to be out late, away from Lori, every night. She has a "square job," and can't stay out late on school nights. Unfortunately, her getting up and leaving in the morning usually also gets me up, putting me behind on sleep if I was up late the night before. I try to make up for that during the day, but that hasn't worked as well as I need.

Even though I've had no offers yet to play with any bands regularly because I haven't gotten myself out there (again, see previous post), I think it's worth having an idea of what my goal is so when offers do come, I know what I want to take on. At the same time, I'm not 100% sure what I want. I haven't gigged terribly much, so it's possible that I'll love it so much that I will want to do it every night, but it's also possible that I'll hate it and not want to do it at all.

The Answer is Very Simple

I need to try it and see.

Really. That is it. I have some ideas about how much gigging I want to do, but how much I end up actually doing, if it were completely up to me, I don't know. As I said, there is a part of me that thinks I would love to do tons of gigging. I had thought that the time in my life for that was passed. But, I have been thinking about it a lot lately, so maybe I'm more open to the idea than I was a few years ago.

Or maybe I'd be happy to just have a gig a week or so, enough to be regular, but not so much as to be out all the time. The only way for me to find out is to try, and to be cautious about how much I'm doing. Some of the concern I'm having is because I often don't realize how I feel about something until after it's over. To paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld, "take how much will kill me, and back it off just a little bit." The other side of this is who the gigs are with. I might be open to constant gigs with a blues band, but a country band, not so much. What I've written here is considering it from the point that the opportunities were with a band I wanted to play with a lot because of my interest in the music, not because they might make it big or they pay me a lot.

P.S. Bonus points if you know where the titles come from.

Mon, 2009 08 10 at 4:53 AM |Permalink for this entry

True Confessions

The story you are about to read is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. However, I still look stupid.

It’s time to lay this out. I think these things have been holding me back musically, as well as from writing new blog posts.

Fear and lack of self-confidence sucks. As a musician, I may be more “bipolar” (not really, but I’ll use that for lack of a better term) than I normally am. Geesh, some days I feel like I can do anything, others I’m overly concerned about every little thing. I had been riding a pretty good high after the Collective Hallucination gigs, and felt pretty good through the Blue Funk gigs at that time too. I didn’t do too much after the band broke up until I sat in a couple of times with a local blues band at a regular gig they have. That’s where the story gets interesting.

The first two times sitting in with them went fine (read: they didn’t tell me I was awful and please don’t come back). Some friends came for the second time and thought I did well, so I guess it wasn’t too bad. A couple of weeks or so later, they had a gig where instead of the regular guitarist, they had a more famous Houston guitar player. This gig was in a different venue on a different day.

After the first set, the keyboard player tells me to sit in after the break. I go up there, and they start playing. But, I did not know the key of the song. The bass player was right in front of me, I kept calling him but not yelling because I didn’t want to make it obvious on stage, but he never heard me. So I’m searching and searching for the key. Offstage, the keyboard player tells me he thinks it’s in E. It wasn’t! Then the famous guitar player throws me a solo. You should have seen the look on his face when I played what I did…

After the song, the bandleader comes over to me and goes, “I gotta get [keyboard player] back up here, we got [famous guitar player] up here and…” He seemed overly concerned about upsetting the guitar player, even though he doesn’t seem like the type. (In fact, I’ve talked to this guitar player at other shows and he seems like a nice, easygoing guy.) “Yeah, I understand,” I say. I didn’t exactly sulk off the stage, but it would not surprise me if anyone who was there said otherwise.

Needless to say, this incident was a bit of a blow. It’s funny that one setback can do so much damage despite plenty of other positive moments.

I’ve also recently discovered is that it’s so easy to do nothing when you don’t have anything “forcing” you to go out and play. When I had the band or the gigs with Collective Hallucination, of course I did those. But now, with neither band pushing me, the only motivation to go out and play is that. I know some people are really driven, and will say music is their life, they don’t know anything else, will play any chance they can, but I’m not quite like that. Music is a huge part of me, but for whatever reason I don’t have that drive to play all the time.

Since then, I’ve been talking to one band about playing with them, or perhaps recording keyboards on some tracks with them. Some days, I feel like that would be no problem, but there’s part of me that wonders about whether I can live up to what that bandleader is looking for.

I’ve had another bandleader invite me out to his regular gig and sit in, and his music is right up my alley and interests (the other band is “merely” very close; I can hear the kind of stuff I would play with them in my head and I would enjoy that gig as well). I think it would be a real treat, pleasure and honor to play with this band as well as a lot of fun. But there’s the rub. I want it too bad and that gets me nervous about making an impression.

I want to say for the record, that when I talk about fear or nervousness, it’s not a conscious thing. I’m not sitting at home shivering in a corner, or biting my nails going “oh my god oh my god oh my god whatamigonnado???” Instead it’s more subtle and surreptitious. The fear finds ways to keep me from going out, doing jams, presenting myself as an available musician, etc. It’s only when I stop and think about what I’m doing or not doing and wonder why that I realize what’s been happening. Whether or not I liked it, I had to write this blog entry, because I need to kick this thing in the butt and do more than I have been. It seems to me that part of the solution is admitting that I have a problem, and say it out loud. The other part is where I’m not as sure. The answer may be simple and right in front of me, the infamous, “just do it.” So for one, I’ve contacted the keyboard player in the band I had the incident with, and asked if it’s still okay if I come to one of their regular gigs and sit in again like the first two times. If not, no problem, but I think feeling like I can play with them and that they don’t have a problem with my playing would help immensely. I also do plan on sitting in with the other bandleader that invited me. I might have felt the way I do about that one without the incident, so I just have to suck it up and play. I’ve done it before. As far as the band that may want me for some tracks, I’m just waiting for them to set up a time.

Again, I’m not really afraid, it’s just a hump I have to get over and have done a lousy job of trying to so far. Now that I’ve told you, it’s embarrassing and stupid to not do anything about it. You are all looking at me saying, “what are you waiting for? Do it!”

Fri, 2009 08 07 at 2:06 PM |Permalink for this entry

Houston Press Music Awards Showcase 2009

Lori and I have been trying to figure out the last time we went to the HPMA showcase. It was in the mid 90s when it was on the Richmond Strip, and we either went one year or two. I have a list of every concert Lori and I have been to together, but for some reason those aren't on there.

This year, we started at the Flying Saucer since our original intent was to see Runaway Sun, Kristine Mills, and then go over to Isis and see Mighty Orq. After that, we had some interest in either of the last bands at both venues. That would allow us to stay completely in the Main Street area venues and avoid the trek to House of Blues or Bayou Place.

We got lucky because we found a parking lot across from the Flying Saucer that was $5 and practically empty. Funnily enough, there was a shuttle stop there too. You would have thought it would have been packed.

We got there early and caught the end of the dUNETX set. Those guys were loud with the door closed and outside! They tried to keep on playing past the end of their alloted time. I get it, you're Rock and Roll, no rules, ha ha, funny, now get outta here. They were pretty good for what they were besides the loud.

We saw all of Runaway Sun's set. I thought it started a little slow, like they weren't exactly comfortable (maybe nerves playing for the showcase?), but after a few songs they got going and it was really good. I talked to Andrew Karnavas afterwards and he was dripping wet. If you saw the show, you know why. He was working it!

We stayed for a bit of Kristine Mills' set. She is very good at that bossa nova jazz, but I was itching to move on. So we walked over to Isis, ran into Matthew and Grace who were leaving, and Earl, who we know from the Houston Musicians Meetup, he plays bass. Earl and his wife joined us to see Orq. We also saw the end of CHangoMan. They were crazy. Orq was awesome. I've never seen him live, but it was great and will have to look for him again. Isis is also an incredible looking place inside. A big marble-like staircase to the upstairs, a big chandelier, etc.

Partially because I was hoping J.R. was going to be able to get me some Riazul, we went over to the House of Blues next. Whatever was playing in the dining room didn't interest us, so we went upstairs to the Bronze Peacock (part of HOB). We checked out a little of Sideshow Tramps, then went over to the concert hall and caught the rest of Los Skarnales, who were partying like crazy and putting on a helluva show. We found J.R. and he tried to get us some tequila, but it turned out it was too late and he was embarrassed and couldn't get us any. That was okay, it was the end of the night for us and we were heading home soon.

Between the great music and running into friends everywhere, we had a fantastic time. Maybe next year I will be part of an act that's playing the showcase. I better get to work, then.

Thu, 2009 07 30 at 7:15 AM |Permalink for this entry

Whole Lotta Nuthin’ Goin’ On

This has been tougher than I had hoped.

As I mentioned in previous posts, I thought it would be weird not having Blue Funk as part of our lives, and it has. There have been times I've really been itching to go out and play or to have an upcoming gig, but it's been quiet on that front since the breakup of the band. I haven't even had a gig with Collective Hallucination since the one in January. I know Ant & Co. have done some things, but I haven't been a part of it.

At the same time, I haven't looked for any gigs, even though I could. So my lack of playing out lays squarely at my feet. My intention was to use this time for woodshedding (practicing), and that's what I've been trying to do. It probably should not be a surprise to me that my progress is going much slower than I had hoped. I'm not bagging on myself so much as saying that these things rarely go as fast as you'd like. I admit fault in not spending as much time as I should practicing though. I am not the most motivated person in the world and too often allow myself to be distracted by teh shiny.

I have added the Tim Richards Blues and Jazz piano books to my practice routine, starting with the Blues edition. This has been more challenging than I thought it would be. Then again, I don't know what I expected, because if it was simple I would have known it already. Duh. I'm still trying to get that left hand/right hand thing going, and that's probably the biggest thing slowing me down, at least technically.

I have done a *little* songwriting, but nothing to really mention. I also found out that Beth Black is moving to New York in July, so I should get my act together and finish that song so she can reject it already.

Fri, 2009 05 08 at 10:40 AM |Permalink for this entry

Eff It

Not my post, but a great read anyway

I've been really slacking on posting here, but I hope to have an update "soon." Meanwhile, I just read this article, and it really lines up with what I've been talking about. Check it out.
Eff It… Quitting Your Job to Pursue (Insert Passion Here)

Tue, 2009 04 28 at 7:09 AM |Permalink for this entry

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