Fun

I'm not terribly happy with that last post.

The responses I've received were more in line with what I expected from the earlier draft that I wrote the night after the sit in, which was a bit more down on things. Imagine the response I would have gotten if I had posted that instead!

I had tried to end the post on a somewhat positive note, thinking about what I could or should do to get back into things, so the responses have been a little bit of a surprise.

More than anything, his whole thing is supposed to be fun. These last two times I've sat in with this band were not fun. It's obvious why the first one wasn't, though the second one could have been me. I've recently truly learned the meaning when people say, "90% is your attitude." It may even be more than that. I really believe that we live in the world we create as individuals. It's very possible that things could be or are fine with these guys for the most part, but you get what you expect, and since I feel like there's a vibe that they don't think that I'm even a capable player, I'm fighting with myself to overcome that and just play and have fun. It's an issue of baggage. Just like when you have a relationship with someone, it's too easy to fall into old bad habits and expectations built up over time. Have you ever seen a broken-up couple launch into each other because of a completely innocent comment by one that the other took the wrong way because of the old expectations they still had?

What happened with this band is a little disappointing, because this was a convenient situation to sit in, and frankly, I was hoping this might lead to more opportunities to play with them as well as others. Not everything works out as you hope. You do your best, and if it doesn't happen, you move along.

I realized this morning that I was basing my feelings on very little, playing with one band that didn't go well musically. Meanwhile, I've had other positive musical experiences. Why do people base things on the latest event? (I feel like this band even did that. I sat in two times that seemed fine. Then one time goes badly, and suddenly I can't play. Okay, maybe the band did that and so did I! Hmmm.)

As one reply I received to the last post reminded me, sometimes, playing with others just doesn't gel. All you can do is move on and play with someone else. That's what I'm looking to do now. I'm hoping that the other opportunities, particularly the other bandleader that asked me to sit in, work out a bit better. Stylistically and perhaps opportunity-wise, that one is somewhat similar to the one that didn't go well. However, for various reasons, I think I might "gel" better with this bandleader. Even if that's only my own perception, it's my universe so it should work for me….

Meanwhile, I am enjoying practicing at home. I'm not a patient person (I try), but I've made some progress lately. I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be, but what musician is? The quest never ends, and you have to enjoy the ride, because there is no final destination.

I've also let the songwriting and working on the demos slip again. I need to work on that. I made some good progress on Kathy's song, but I still need to do a bit more on it.

Who said anything about stopping? Why stop in the pursuit of fun?

Posted 2009 08 12 at 5:00 PM

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