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Who Could Be So Unkind?

I mentioned in my previous post that I got fired from one band days before the gig. There’s a long story behind it, but I will spare you. I think a big lesson if not the biggest lesson I came away with was that if the band leader tells you there is a part or parts that are important to him, get those down as soon as possible. Even if they aren’t perfect, do what you can and improve them over time.

I did the opposite. I focused on learning all the songs in general (there were about twenty of them, I think). While I had figured out and sort of learned the one part in the midst of learning all the songs, I didn’t really start to try to get it down until the very end. By that point it was too late. I had already lost them, even though I had many of the other songs sounding good.

Another reason to get the part done early is that it lets you find out what the band leader really wants. Even though you know you don’t have the part done perfectly, the band leader may think it’s good enough. Then you can either focus on the other material or continue to improve it on your own.

Fri, 2011 06 24 at 12:21 PM | Permalink for this entry

A Review (For Me)

I just updated the About Me page, and because of that, started reading my old posts on this blog, from April 2008 through December 2009 (which includes the point when Blue Funk broke up). I’ve noticed a few things.

1. I wrote a lot more about music stuff in general. There were comments about shows we saw, artists that influenced me, etc.
2. I wrote about the downs as well as the ups. Somewhere along the way, I got self-conscious about what I posted on here. In those early posts, I wrote about the difficulties I had getting ready for my first gig with CH, as well as auditions I didn’t get. On the other hand, more recently I’ve intentionally not written about failures I’ve had, like getting fired from one band days before the gig, and not getting called back after auditions with others. I think part of the reason is that I also have this blog set to post on Facebook, and I’m concerned about those people’s reactions as well as the reactions of others. I tend to think I should put up a good front in order to sell myself as a musician. But I also think it indicates a change in my attitude. See my previous post about becoming too concerned about getting gigs.
3. I wrote more often.
4. A lot of the issues I am having now were present back then, as well.
5. I seemed to be happier and having more fun.

I’m going to have to think about this. I think this blog deserves more content. I think I deserve to “care less” about what other people think and have some frickin’ fun again.

Thu, 2011 06 23 at 1:28 PM | Permalink for this entry

Fuggedaboutit

Have you or anyone you’ve known ever decided to turn a hobby into a career? While many times it results in a satisfying vocation, sometimes it ruins it for the person. Most times, the problem is quite simple. Once it became a career, it became “important.” The focus changed. Instead of doing it for fun, it was being done for money and decisions became confused. “I’m not sure I want to do [this], but it will make me more money.”

In my previous post I talked about having fun playing and losing a bit of that. Why did I lose it? Because I became concerned about getting gigs, I wasn’t thinking as much about if they would be fun (or if I could make them fun for myself), and I became too concerned about getting it right (again, see the previous post). When you stop doing something for fun and put all these other demands on it, you lose the freedom and play the formerly fun thing had.

I’m a very lucky person in that I don’t have to play to eat. I can base my decisions about what I do on whether I will enjoy doing it or not. The trick is to not overthink it, to not find flaws just to back out of it, and to do something and not do nothing just because I can get away with it. You know I’ve tried.

Fri, 2011 06 17 at 10:12 AM | Permalink for this entry

What Am I Trying To Do?

I don’t know how to be happy, I know how to be right.

The above phrase is an oversimplification, but it came to me while thinking about some general things in my life. I quickly realized how it applies to music for myself and many others as well.

I’ve been reading Kenny Werner’s excellent book Effortless Mastery: Liberating the Master Musician Within, and he touches on this subject as well. Most of us spend time trying to play the right notes, afraid we are going to play the wrong ones. So what if we do? We get in these two ton metal machines all the time and drive them around without thinking about it, yet we’re afraid to play a wrong note? Which activity truly has more risk?

I don’t deny that there are some musical situations where perfection is demanded. But that is up to the person in charge. Yet, that is what most people think all musical situations are like.

Think about how many people took piano lessons as a kid, but gave up on it, yet wish they could play now that they’re older. On top of that, they think they still can’t learn to play. What happened was, a well-meaning but misguided piano teacher sucked all the fun out of playing the instrument. Instead of being about having fun and possibly even creating, it became about being right, playing properly, and all sorts of other things that were not fun and creative. I’m not saying those things shouldn’t be learned, but there is a time and place for those and they should still fit in the context of the overriding goal, making music and having fun doing it.

I recently lost the having fun part of music. I’ve been trying to get it back. My conscious mind has a pretty clear idea of what the problem is, what is holding me back, what is blocking the fun. Unfortunately, those problems are currently at a level in my mind where it takes some determined effort to rid myself of them. I have to convince myself that there is no real risk, to not worry about trying to get everything right, to have fun, and as Kenny Werner says, that “there are no wrong notes” (I am primarily playing blues and jazz, after all).

“You speak treason, my lord.”

“Fluently.”

Fri, 2011 06 03 at 8:48 PM | Permalink for this entry

Crossing the Bridge

The metaphor is due to my recent trip to NY, where you often have to cross a bridge to get anywhere.

In my previous post, I wrote about my lack of motivation. I know it is not completely gone though. As I am sitting here, I am listening to Trio of OZ and really feeling it. I mean, I would love to play like this or many other players, and I can even visualize myself doing it at times. The trick is, getting from where I am now to there...

No, wait.

Really, there is no single bridge that will get me to the other side. In fact, there is no other side. It is a step by step journey. It does not end. I have to remind myself that each step is different, and some will feel great and others will seem insignificant. But each one is necessary.

Tue, 2011 05 10 at 2:05 PM | Permalink for this entry

Finding Inspiration

For most of this year, I had really been on a roll. I was really driven to learn more (on piano) and I think I may have been as well. But, for reasons I won't get into here as well as possibly others I haven't figured out yet, I recently lost the fire that was driving me.

That's not to say I'm giving up by any means, but it has been a bit of a struggle of late to do as much with the instrument that I had been. Seeing and feeling the difference, it sucks. I like being driven better.

(I also realize that I'm describing "being driven" like it is something external, but I know it is not and this is all me. It always was and always will be.)

Mon, 2011 05 09 at 2:07 PM | Permalink for this entry

Sick and Tired

Just when I had some momentum going in posting.

Being sick the past couple of weeks has hindered my posting here among other things. In fact, I didn't practice at all for a week and I'm struggling to get back into it. In a way, that is good. The reason is that I have been practicing pretty intensely lately. This confirms both the mental and physical effort I have been putting into it. No more going thru the motions!

Thu, 2011 04 14 at 1:20 PM | Permalink for this entry

Irony or a Sign

Yesterday I mentioned working on songwriting as well as recording. I would do the recording on my MacBook Pro. Yesterday evening, my hard drive seemed to have stopped working properly. I am currently restoring it, but still not 100% certain the drive doesn’t need to be replaced.

This is one of the reasons I moved away from doing web design. I got tired of dealing with the fickleness of the tech full time. Internet outages, hard drive crashes, etc., and always at inopportune times.

While I wait for the restore to complete and perhaps do some tests afterwards, I’ll go practice on my piano. I don’t even have to plug that in.

Tue, 2011 03 29 at 7:08 AM | Permalink for this entry

Selling Out

Real artists ship. - Steve Jobs

I haven’t been writing any songs lately. I’ve been focused on my chops and music theory that goes along with that. However, I think another reason I haven’t been writing is the perfectionist in me. Whether you are developing a computer, a car, a song, or a painting, it’s all too easy to want it to be perfect and complete. But, you have to be able to stop and say it is truly good enough as it is. This may really be where the art is.

I have also been thinking about what I could try to do with my songs if I do start writing again. Let’s just say I would not complain about making some “mailbox money” if that were to occur. I would also love to develop my recording, producing, and arranging skills, even somewhat.

See you at the bank!

Mon, 2011 03 28 at 3:32 PM | Permalink for this entry

Day to Day

The thing about this business is that it can be very day to day. When you have a job, you generally have it. When you are trying to play with multiple people, each one can be like an interview and you don’t know if you got the gig until you do. You also don’t know why you didn’t get a gig. It may have nothing to do with you nor your playing. I have had bands not hire me because they went in a different direction, retooled with other members, or knew the other person better.

All I can do is keep at it, keep developing as a player, and do my best.

Tue, 2011 03 22 at 12:04 PM | Permalink for this entry

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