Finally, the Big Gig is Tonight

I really don't have much to say about it. Earlier this week, I felt fine and had all but a couple of parts under hand. I've now gotten those parts about as good as they are going to get, but Thursday night my nerves started getting to me and haven't really let up since. It sucks because physically I don't feel well, and I can't seem to get it under control. It's similar to how I felt physically when I took on this gig.

Before the first public gig with Blue Funk back in March, I was WIRED, a bundle of nervous energy and could hardly calm down. It was annoying, but I could deal with it. For this, it's worse because I almost feel ill. Yet, I know I have the material mostly down so I don't expect any real problems. It's all pretty stupid, and I remember being able to deal with it before when doing presentations. I don't know what has changed in me since then.

Maybe the issue is that since it's not my band, not my gig, and a place I've never been, it's all out of my control. Things could happen and I have to answer to someone else and not completely respond on my own. Or, maybe it has something to do with the fact that I "peaked" a few days ago. I finally got to where I was getting into the songs and about a week or so ago, came up with stuff to do for most of the songs. Since then, that has faded, and those same parts have lost my interest to a degree, but I have been practicing them every day. So, I don't have the excitement and creativity that I had at that point to keep me going now.

Of course, I'm thinking about it too much as I always do. I guess you can come tonight and see if I blow it. 😉

Posted 2008 12 20 at 5:23 AM

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