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It’s Not You, It’s Me

Well, some of it is you, but it’s mostly me

I have long believed that you get what you expect. Jobs, waiters, bands, relationships, auto mechanics, you name it. Sometimes, you don’t realize what you expect, and that’s when it gets tricky. If there’s part of you that thinks all auto mechanics are con men, then you will find they are all con men. That doesn’t mean that some of them aren’t con men. It doesn’t even mean that all the ones you’ve encountered aren’t con men. They might be. But why do you always find the bad ones? Because you expect it.

I discussed in a previous post bands that call themselves “pro.” Well, I did it again. This time, I knew the guy starting the band and, liking the way he played, somehow completely missed that he said he was starting a “professional” band. That’s on me. But once again, I was with a band that missed the boat on what’s truly professional. It’s a shame too, because like the old adage, I think everyone in the band is better than me, so that should have helped me up my game. However, several of the band members ways of interacting are unacceptable to me and less than professional. There are other issues I won’t get into here. Maybe in another post.

I am left asking myself why have I gotten into another one of these situations? While there are issues on their side, I need to look at myself and see why I did this again. Why is part of me expecting this sort of train wreck, instead of finding a good situation?

The best answer I have so far is my expectations or lack of from myself. Maybe I think I’m not good enough to find a good situation that just works, that I think I don’t or can’t play well enough to hang with players like that. If that is the case, I need to recalibrate somehow. One way would be to be lucky enough to find a band that was willing to “put up” with me (my words, not theirs and just an expression. I’m not into beating myself up and avoid it as much as I can) as I got up to speed. Another would be to start my own band with some quality players. A third would be to stop pursuing this for now and let go. If I can let go of preconceptions about myself and the bands, I think the right situation can come to me.

Posted 2016 08 16 at 10:00 AM

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